Why Tom Hanks is a Piece of Shit

Another year, another trite, emotionally manipulative Tom Hanks tearjerker to sate the simpletons who eat up his tepid brand of conventional Hollywood pablum. This time around, Hanks is using 9/11 as the arbitrary source material for his pathetic annual campaign for accolades and awards. His latest film, Extremely Banal and Incredibly Nauseating, or something to that affect, reduces a complicated historical event to nothing more than a convenient canvas for a mundane tearjerker that (I’m sure) affirms the ‘beautiful gift of being alive’ in some easily digestible, quasi-philosophical way for people who perceive Oprah and Dr Phil as the torchbearers of some kind of vaguely delineated intellectual paradigm, the purpose of which is to ‘feel good’ about one’s self.

Fuck that shit.

Hanks is a mediocre, tedious actor who abandoned his obvious gift for being a wholly non-offensive middle-brow sitcom star for the intoxicating allure of being a ‘serious’ dramatic actor, a task for which he is not even remotely capable. I wish he’d go away, or at least return to the kind of middle of the road comedies where he belongs. I’m sure that’s not going to happen as long as the banality of ‘meaningful’ continues to be a major template for overly dramatic Hollywood schlock.

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4 Responses to “Why Tom Hanks is a Piece of Shit”

  1. sobiy Says:

    This man or woman is mentally insane or on some very strong drugs, pay them no mind.

  2. Polly Andy Says:

    You’re a bitter and cynical person. Your world-view makes you feel superior. It isn’t superior, or even smart; merely a cowardly attempt at safety. Try doing some good things this year.

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